Study Break

I’ll never forget my first day of seminary. I sat on the back row in my Old Testament class and Chad Hunsberger looked over and saw the tears spilling out of my eyes and down my face. Naturally, he asked, “What’s wrong?” I was simply overwhelmed with the opportunity I had been given—the luxury of studying God’s Holy Word—in a setting like that…with a professor rockin' the Ph.D., great books, and all these other people who were committed to Kingdom work. I had dreamed of going to seminary since middle school and there I was—in the first hour of my journey. I gave Chad a simple answer, but he got the point and said, “Wow. You don’t see that very often.” I just shook my head and thought, “Well I don’t know why not.”

A semester and a half later, here I am…mid-terms to study for, papers to write, not to mention the stresses of holding down a full-time job in the meantime. I confess that I’m struggling with weariness and the temptation to let my attitude slip into a state a few steps shy of gratitude. This translates further—I’m flooded with the temptation to settle into an academically based routine empty of the pleasure of genuine communion with God. No thanks. I want more intimacy with my Savior.

I need to bathe—to soak—in the Word. And I humbly depend on the Spirit to work in concert with God’s Word to “clean off my heart” (that’s how sweet Caroline…my cousin’s five-year-old daughter put it). Scripture is full of brilliantly colored, beautifully penned attempts to describe a love that is good beyond description. Just a few examples…



The Lord to Moses in Exodus 34:6-7…
The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin.

The imagery in Hosea 2 (vv. 14-16, 19-20) is breathtaking...
Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her. There I will give her back her vineyards, and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope. There she will sing as in the days of her youth, as in the day she came up out of Egypt. In that day, declares the LORD, you will call me "my husband"; you will no longer call me "my master." ...I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion. I will betroth you in faithfulness, and you will acknowledge the LORD.

Jesus’ prayer in John 17 (vv.22-24) brings me to my face…
I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me. Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world.

This is the knowing of a lover, not a scholar. A scholar can be a lover. But a scholar doesn’t know God until he is a lover. This is one reason so many Christians become so impure. They don’t really know God—the true, massive, glorious, gracious, biblical God. “The humble intimacy and brokenhearted ecstasy—giving fire to the facts—is not there,” John Piper explains.

A stuffy glance and nod of the head from intelligencia doesn’t even get close. We’re talking about a deep gaze on lock…complete attention…a heart-pounding understanding that penetrates to the depths of one’s being. Knowing God means having ears to hear Jesus say, “I love you.” I echo the psalmist (Ps. 27:4)…One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.

Piper said, “We were made to know Christ as he really is. We were created to comprehend—as much as a creature can—the supremacy of Christ…not the knowing of a hurricane by watching TV but by flying into the eye of the storm.” This is an incredibly adventurous knowing…it’s a love that propels us to shout it from the mountaintops…to tell people everywhere of our great God.

Ah! Bless the Lord, oh my soul! Praise the Lord for this truth. When my brain is fried, and my head hurts, and I just feel like toast, I find rest in the arms of my God. Thank you Father, Son, and Holy Spirit! I will praise you as you sustain me to finish this semester strong.

I think I’m ready to get back to work now. ;)